Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Valparaiso Interim and Night #1: South Bend, Mr Don Sir, Brad gets some action

We're warm and cozy, awaiting showtime in the hip art-deco den of Uptown Cafe in Valparaiso, IN. It's nestled at the base of the Valpo University student apartments, and has the most original, delicious recipes for sandwiches, pizzas.... about an hour ago I put a s'wich in my mouth and felt immediately like I hadn't done enough good deeds in my life to deserve it.

Last night was a surprise. Owner and big bearhug-giver Art at the Coney Island dive bar in South Bend kindly allowed us to play a short set during their Tuesday open mic night. We set up the full band in the tiny front window and played to a tightly-packed crowd inches from their faces. Afterward, Art grabbed me and held me tight, excitedly muttering kind words peppered with profanity.

Before all this we became acquainted with Mr. Don Sir. Everyone must know. At the beginning of the night, shortly after we arrived, an elderly gentleman stood up to the mic with his weathered guitar. Ancient-faced, nearly toothless, and bullfrog-voiced, this man spoke as if through a greasy kazoo. To our delight, his banter became increasingly vulgar and he began playing a song - a parody of Let It Snow - whose subject was definitely, unmistakably.. fellatio. At the end of the night Mr. Don Sir gave me a CD of 30 of his parodies (he punned "pair-o-double-d's"), croaking in my ear that I had to wait until I was home to listen in case I laughed myself into a car wreck (this really happened last time).

On the way home we resisted putting the CD in and arrived at our friend Heather's place in Valpo. There waiting for us was her beautiful, enormous female American Bulldog named Lila. She was very affectionate. She especially liked Brad. She liked him so much that she tried to have babies with him... again, and again, and again. She was so big that Brad couldn't really do anything about it, and rather than help we stood by laughing in mixed horror/hysteria.

We're about to go on. Have a great night! See you in Dayton.

Nicholas & WTM

1 comment:

  1. Rest assured, the valet crew will be seeing you and your new friend at work tonight, Brad. Keep killin em out there!