Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I want to talk about some stuff for a minute. Discovering things. It has been my life's obsession and it will be, hopefully, until I die. Gorgeous discovery of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6X03nsQSsw. Today I discovered Antony Hegarty.
Some of us live in small spaces inside ourselves, crying and afraid and defensive and fatalistic. We work and work to make sure nobody can see into our eyes, and every day we bolster our defenses. We're all hiding things: we're queer, we're in love, we want affection, we want to leave, we're angry, we're incredibly turned on by SOMETHING that someone we are afraid of (often ourselves) cannot accept. Every day I try to discover something in hopes that I learn more about myself--in recent weeks I've discovered unexpected love, I've learned how to garden, I've discovered Antony and the Johnsons' I am a bird now, I've discovered my own ability to see into my brother's eyes and read deeper than anyone else can, I've discovered how wonderful it is to wake up to news on the radio and not just a beep.
Basically, I am being really teary-feary about how wonderful it feels to inquire and try things and explore within and without.
Right. Yay life, yay being and subbeing and all that crap.